I am not ashamed to admit that one of my greatest joys in life is going to a diner for breakfast. An opportunity to have breakfast with friends should never be declined, but I find eating breakfast alone–in the right environment--to be a sublime experience.
What do I love about it? So many things. It gives me a reason to get dressed and get out the door on a morning where I may lounge around in sweats longer than is good for me. The journey to a diner, whether a long walk or a few steps from the parking lot, exposes me to the nourishing sun, refreshing air, and enlivening presence of other people.
I love being able to seat myself at a place of my choosing (preferably a spacious booth with partial sunlight and one to two empty booths between me and another patron). I love the first sip of watered-down coffee. I love the free and frequent refills. I love drinking way more coffee than I would at home and trying to ride the rush of dopamine.
I find the waitstaff to be a breath of fresh air. There is little to no time wasted on false niceties such as “how’s it going”, “any big plans for the day”, or even “been here before”. There is honesty and beauty in not pretending to care. Yet the waitstaff are by no means cold. For whatever reason, the waitstaff are almost always female and usually in their 40s, 50s, or 60s. They tend to call you “darling”, “sweetie”, and “hun” without it feeling cheap. They are attentive to your needs while respecting your space and make you feel welcome to stay as long as you like. Even though they aren’t my mother, and perhaps not a mother to anyone, in their presence I am able to relax and allow myself to be taken care of (without a “thank you” for every interaction). It feels nice to be taken care of.
A good diner also supplies a soundscape ripe for contemplation. Conversations and the pleasant din of industry–heavy plates being picked up and set down, doors swinging open and closed, the beeping of the credit card machine and the printing of receipts–all combine to create an effect similar to that of white noise. If you’re lucky, there will even be a few moments of silence that are so exquisite when experienced in public. This makes for an excellent place to bring a book or pencil and paper (no phones, you’ll miss the magic).
The conversations you overhear at a diner may, on the surface, seem irrelevant and uninteresting, but the deeper you look, the more fascinating and mysterious they become. Every sentence has a hidden meaning, sometimes many. There is what was literally said, and there is what that says about them. Why did they use those specific words? Why did they respond in that matter? What does that reveal about their values and how they see the world? What life experiences may have informed such a perspective? Secondhand conversations represent a magical opportunity to glimpse into another universe. And diners are one of the best places to peer into universes most dissimilar from your own–where else can businessmen drink from the same pot of coffee as artists, tradesmen, academics, etc.? I like to sit and wonder what it would be like if I were a plumber, war veteran, or whoever else catches my ear that day. These unlived lives sometimes lend me gratitude for the life I do have and sometimes inspire me to my closer toward the life I want.
Last but not least, you can count on the food being good at a breakfast diner. If it’s not impossible, it must be more difficult to climb a mountain barefoot and blindfolded than to cook a bad breakfast. Of course, the food tastes better knowing the total cost of the meal will be less than a delivery fee on UberEats–even if you order extra sides of toast, pancakes, and sausage!
If any of this sounds pleasant to you, I encourage you to head to a diner the next free morning you have.
However, I must urge caution in choosing the right breakfast diner. There are a lot of diners that are not at all conducive to this experience. Perhaps you’ve gone to one of these without realizing it. A few signs that you are at the wrong diner are:
- Pop music. Ideally there is no music playing, but if any music is playing it should be very slow, mellow, and unobtrusive
- TVs on. Need I say more?
- Phones ringing. Avoid the bustle of places that do takeout.
- Long lines. If there is a wait to be seated, then service will be slow and you will feel pressure to leave when your meal is finished
- Too bright. White light may be energizing, but let the coffee provide the energy and look for lighting that is more relaxing and warm
Be well and eat well 🙂